My Liberal Stand Up Jokes ; Liberals don't believe in free will, they believe someone else will. Liberals don't want peace, they want a free piece of the action. Trump is offering free life coach councelling to any Liberal working at minimum wage. Liberals think that everything that is unfortunate is unfair and that someone else's success is at their expense. What do you call an Amber Alert for a missing Liberals? You call it an; "Amber Alert". Liberals are allergic to peanuts, Glutton, Lactose, pollen and truth. Liberals suffer more from depression more than others because they think happiness is the same thing as "fun". A Liberal's favorite wines are; "You can't say that!" and "I don't like the way how Trump talks and the way he says things and he doesn't act like a real politician is supposed to act and HE SCARES ME!" Why did the Liberal cross the road? Because everyone else was…BAAAA SHEEPLE SHEEP. What is better, the dignity of a hard day's work or the indignity of being a Liberal playing with yourself in your mom's basement. What's the difference between a gun and a Liberal? Guns only have one trigger. Why do Liberals eat TidPods, snort condoms and don't know what washroom to use?
This is trick question because liberals cannot be happy because misery and victimhood are the Liberal main currencies. The more miserable you are, the more likely you may have been victimized therefore you are elevated in the opinion pecking order
Liberals are unhappy because they KNOW that they don't have any "higher knowledge" or "greater understanding" than Conservatives but they THINK they should. That is the source of their MISERY.
Liberals: They're miserable because they believe it's their responsibility to be everyone's savior. They're miserable because they treat gov't as God, and of course gov't always disappoints. White liberals are riddled with guilt. Black, Hispanic, lgbtq, female liberals are miserable because they think everyone is out to get them, and they truly believe that they don't have equal rights, which is factually incorrect and utter nonsense.
Your topics are about stuff that is relevant, everyone should be able to relate to what you are saying if they have even an ounce of common sense. How could anyone not like you, and your show? I can relate to everything you are saying. I was raised by very conservative, old fashioned Christian parents in the remote wilderness. Had a sheltered life as a child. I love you and your show. I can't understand how anyone could dislike you, or your show. Keep doing the great job you do so well. Have a wonderful day.
Just looked up your book on barnes and noble and saw it's getting destroyed in the reviews, lol well thought out arguments like "right wing" propagandist.
I am not a happy conservative but I don't have community and religion in my life. I am utterly fucking terrified of the possibility that whoever Joe Biden's vice president could be our next President. We already know under no circumstances will Joe Biden be president more than the acclaimed "first 100 hours". I am half expecting him to stroke out before January 20 2021 regardless of who wins. Gutfeld also left out Maddow. God, I miss his ragging on Maddow. He probably stopped ragging on her due to it making me watch her insanity for myself. I had to stop watching MSNBC even for entertainment purposes. The deep-seated depression that encompasses the entire Morning Joe show to this day leaves me astonished not more people who watch that show kill themselves. I literally had to stop watching Morning Joe or kill myself. I chose life, as usual. But as Gutfeld said (paraphrasing at this point): At least Joe and Mika made two people other than themselves very happy by marrying each other.
When you believe in JESUS you're more likely to have inner peace. Just how it is. You can have little to nothing material and still be thankful. So when you are blessed to have more you appreciate that the lord has given you opportunity to get there. Physically, mentally and spiritually. There is always someone who has a tougher time in life….
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My Liberal Stand Up Jokes ;
Liberals don't believe in free will, they believe someone else will.
Liberals don't want peace, they want a free piece of the action.
Trump is offering free life coach councelling to any Liberal working at minimum wage.
Liberals think that everything that is unfortunate is unfair and that someone else's success is at their expense.
What do you call an Amber Alert for a missing Liberals? You call it an; "Amber Alert".
Liberals are allergic to peanuts, Glutton, Lactose, pollen and truth.
Liberals suffer more from depression more than others because they think happiness is the same thing as "fun".
A Liberal's favorite wines are; "You can't say that!" and "I don't like the way how Trump talks and the way he says things and he doesn't act like a real politician is supposed to act and HE SCARES ME!"
Why did the Liberal cross the road? Because everyone else was…BAAAA SHEEPLE SHEEP.
What is better, the dignity of a hard day's work or the indignity of being a Liberal playing with yourself in your mom's basement.
What's the difference between a gun and a Liberal? Guns only have one trigger.
Why do Liberals eat TidPods, snort condoms and don't know what washroom to use?
This is trick question because liberals cannot be happy because misery and victimhood are the Liberal main currencies.
The more miserable you are, the more likely you may have been victimized therefore you are elevated in the opinion pecking order
Ignorance is bliss
You write jokes, Gutterfeld? Who do you give them to? You're as funny as a dance with Jeffrey Epstein.
The right is happier because they don't care about others. Simple.
I would say that they are happy because they know that what they believe is based on facts.
OMG, I love Jack Carter!
OF course they are!
SOCIALIST are always looking for BAD NEWS…..so they can keep going for their evil agenda!
Liberals are unhappy because they KNOW that they don't have any "higher knowledge" or "greater understanding" than Conservatives but they THINK they should.
That is the source of their MISERY.
WAY happier. That is the WHOLE POINT.
Liberals:
They're miserable because they believe it's their responsibility to be everyone's savior.
They're miserable because they treat gov't as God, and of course gov't always disappoints.
White liberals are riddled with guilt.
Black, Hispanic, lgbtq, female liberals are miserable because they think everyone is out to get them, and they truly believe that they don't have equal rights, which is factually incorrect and utter nonsense.
Of course we are!!??
Your topics are about stuff that is relevant, everyone should be able to relate to what you are saying if they have even an ounce of common sense. How could anyone not like you, and your show? I can relate to everything you are saying. I was raised by very conservative, old fashioned Christian parents in the remote wilderness. Had a sheltered life as a child. I love you and your show. I can't understand how anyone could dislike you, or your show. Keep doing the great job you do so well. Have a wonderful day.
Just looked up your book on barnes and noble and saw it's getting destroyed in the reviews, lol well thought out arguments like "right wing" propagandist.
Agree
I am not a happy conservative but I don't have community and religion in my life. I am utterly fucking terrified of the possibility that whoever Joe Biden's vice president could be our next President. We already know under no circumstances will Joe Biden be president more than the acclaimed "first 100 hours". I am half expecting him to stroke out before January 20 2021 regardless of who wins. Gutfeld also left out Maddow. God, I miss his ragging on Maddow. He probably stopped ragging on her due to it making me watch her insanity for myself. I had to stop watching MSNBC even for entertainment purposes. The deep-seated depression that encompasses the entire Morning Joe show to this day leaves me astonished not more people who watch that show kill themselves. I literally had to stop watching Morning Joe or kill myself. I chose life, as usual. But as Gutfeld said (paraphrasing at this point): At least Joe and Mika made two people other than themselves very happy by marrying each other.
No questions to Greg about working at RapistsNews aka FoxNews? Murdoch Press really love rapists, Pedophiles and wife Bashers.
religious people are nice until you dont join their religion
People on the right want to build. People on the left want to destroy.
We just work around them until they bring everything down. Then we build new things.
Shame there are always leftist survivors… after the fires they light… undermining the new foundation.
Same old same old.
It’s been proven that people who suffer from mental illness and self loathing tend to gravitate towards the left.
Liberals are miserable and as the saying goes Misery loves company
It's like how can it make a person feel good to give? That's JESUS!
When you believe in JESUS you're more likely to have inner peace. Just how it is. You can have little to nothing material and still be thankful. So when you are blessed to have more you appreciate that the lord has given you opportunity to get there. Physically, mentally and spiritually. There is always someone who has a tougher time in life….
Dave Rubin eats verga ( KCOC)